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 Posted - January 23 2013 : 5:54:42 PM
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hi everyone. i haven't been on here for several months. my wife left me & i've been going crazy. this is the hardest thing i have ever went through. for those of you that believe in praying, please say a prayer for me and my beautiful wife Shanda to somehow come back together. i have no lies to tell, i love her more than anything on this earth & i was a jerk. i had the best woman on earth right in front of me & was blinded by anger & stuff that really didn't mater. i miss her dearly.
jerry
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Posted - January 23 2013 : 6:17:42 PM
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| Jerry, I been there before, just stay strong and it will work out.
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Posted - January 23 2013 : 6:34:45 PM
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Hi Smokie,
You two are in my prayers.
Mytyco
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Posted - January 23 2013 : 6:58:41 PM
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| Ive been down that track before. You two are in my prayers.
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Posted - January 23 2013 : 7:27:08 PM
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| hi nelson,my wife left me a few years ago,its hard when you love someone,but stay cool and be patient,my thoughts go out to you ken
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Posted - January 23 2013 : 11:35:42 PM
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Yes, Smokie...Being a jerk doesn't go over very well in a marriage, or anywhere else as far as that goes...
Here's a comment you made a while back in the thread titled, "All For Nothing" when I received the wrong item, twice... You can visit that thread...
You said; "now is the time that if I had one, I would make fun of you & rub it in your face."
That may have been fun if we were 12, But I'm not going to laugh at you... I feel your pain...
Best of luck in rekindling the fire.... Walt
Walt
Luck, usually comes dressed in work clothes...
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Posted - January 24 2013 : 06:30:25 AM
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| Dude, this guy is hurting, his wife left him and he turns to his friends on a forum for a word of comfort and asks for prayer, and in your infinite wisdom you take this time to scold him on a comment he made over a year ago???? Heed your own words of wisdom!!
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Posted - January 24 2013 : 10:09:58 AM
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Well said GG1.
Hang in there Smokie... as someone abandoned by a mother I know some of what you're going through... and it sucks... but the sun will always rise, and you'll be stronger and wiser for noticing it.
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Posted - January 24 2013 : 10:52:21 AM
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quote:Dude, this guy is hurting, his wife left him and he turns to his friends on a forum for a word of comfort and asks for prayer, and in your infinite wisdom you take this time to scold him on a comment he made over a year ago???? Heed your own words of wisdom!!
Originally posted by GG-1 Guy - January 24 2013 : 06:30:25 AM
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My above comment was made with the heart of a teacher... It's the same info his Grandma or God would have given him... 
Walt
Luck, usually comes dressed in work clothes...
Edited by - walt on January 24 2013 12:28:55 PM
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Posted - January 24 2013 : 5:10:32 PM
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Hi Jerry,
Glad to see you around again, and I definitely will pray for you two. It sounds like you're being humble, and maybe if you are able to tell her that, things can work again. Mending a break in a relationship can be extremely hard, I certainly know that. I wish you well, and will keep you in my prayers.
Starting my Tyco and other favorites collection over again after 37 years.
My still in progress list of inventory and wantlist: tyconut.com
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Posted - January 26 2013 : 12:06:17 AM
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Jerry, sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm dealing with my own grief at the moment (in fact I think Ken confused us up above  ), and whether it's the death of a loved one or the death of a relationship it can be unbearable at times.
I hope you and your spouse can reconcile for both you and your kid's sakes. Some couples counseling could allow you to hash out your issues if she would be receptive to it.
The Tyco Depot
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Posted - January 26 2013 : 12:54:01 AM
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Jerry,
I'm not here to scold or anything, but I will ask.....You both believe in God?
I am NOT asking that to scold, as I have a story of my own to share.....
I used to attend Church, I don't anymore.....HOWEVER, my Wife does, and this is not to say shes a believer and I'm not....Long story short, you don't have to go to Church to be Christian, all you have to do, is believe, and love, in God, and except Christ, and follow as best you can or know how to to Christ's foot steps, of what he shown for all of us. I actually know the Bible quite well, I just don't know the versus to what I'm saying....(Does that make sense?) I know the versus, I just don't know the number sequence to them! I think that how I want to say that to make sense! 
.....now to my story!
A few years ago, my Wife and I was going through some Marriage troubles too.....I prayed to God, by myself....she prayed and attended Church. With this we both did our separate things in prayer, with it and done the best we both could, NOW because of this, she and I are closer....There were things she couldn't figure out with me and same with me, for her.
Because she spoke of it in prayer, and attended Church, and had prayers sent for us from her Church, to work on our own issues and to mend our Marriage, its has come full circle, and are alot closer now then we ever were.
Now, I'm not saying you must attend Church.I don't!, BUT, I do believe and I do love the Man watching over us all.....I just don't go to Church, because, there are a few things, I have to say, I'm not perfect, nor am I anything near a Saint....Which if I went to Church, in some small amount, I'd be a Hipocrit, and sadly, I can say, I know enough of those already! I'm not going to add to those! Again, I'm not saying EVERYONE I know that goes to Church is one, I just know a few of them from my life time that I just am not going to say or do one thing, one day of the week and then live a "secret" life the rest.....I am who I am....God knows it, and most of you do too!
However, because of my belief in Christ's, and my Wifes belief in Christ, too, the message got to God, through the Son.....And here it is.................in a few weeks, 9 years later!
Touching, isn't it? But a true story, and I'm not to proud to tell that one to anyone!
Jerry,
You and your Wife, will be in my prayers! May God, bless you bothin marriage happiness!!!
~John
Many have tried to, and failed, ya just can't repair stupid...
Do NOT try to Idiot-Proof anything!!!! God, will simply create a better......IDIOT!
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Posted - January 26 2013 : 05:11:31 AM
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Jerry:
Ask for help. try to get some help that will allow you to work on yourselves individually and as a couple.
I know it's unmodern to suggest this being as how were are so enarmored of ourselves but try to put the relationship first.
As to all the God stuff well, try and get some concrete help, some Cleric's may be helpful if they have practical suggestions and some real training. An example being, if you find yourself being consistently critical of your partner in the sense of trying to convince her how right you are about something and not letting up, try this I learned it from a Professor of Psyhciatric Lingustics at Princeton University; have her reach out and touch your arm or shoulder and say, what you're doing is hurting me, causing me pain. You then have to ask how inportant is it to be "right" keeping in mind that's largely subjective, or have the love & goodwill of your partner? I hope that will help. Also try to sit beside your lady when discussing things. Don't get up or try to get into a position directly opposite her. We do this, I won't bore you with the anthropology and Kinesics, to feed the confrontation mindset. We guys are particularly guilty of this.
Anyway hope that helps. If btw, grief figures into your problems somehow then email me and I might be able to offer a bit more practical advice. I do volunteer work related to this. I'll leave the Old Man in the Sky stuff to others... 
Good Luck!
-Gareth
"A is A"
-Aristotle
Law of Identification
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Posted - January 26 2013 : 2:32:30 PM
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Try to get counseling, Christian counseling. I've had people close to me with struggles in their marriages and I wish I had been able to give this advice. Most good worldly advice is Christian based.
Blessings to you. I hope you get the best results.
Alco Fan
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Posted - January 26 2013 : 2:59:54 PM
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Bob:
I laughed out loud at your comment about good advice being Christian based. No offence but that's the equivalent of stealing someone's good idea and calling it yours. Christian's i mean not you specifically. They're famous for it.
The history books would say otherwise. Most of the ideas you allude to pre-date Christianity by eons.
I think there's been enough Christianity in this thread notwithstanding any other religon so while comforting someone is laudable, the Reference to Christianity is not.
Pax,
Gareth
"A is A"
-Aristotle
Law of Identification
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Posted - January 26 2013 : 9:28:58 PM
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G,
There has been the one and only God eons before He created man.
Alco Fan
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Posted - January 26 2013 : 9:42:06 PM
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Yeah,
Just not anyone's PARTICULAR God.
Certainly not the Abrahamic one.
and he/she certainly isn't a Train Deity.
-Gareth
"A is A"
-Aristotle
Law of Identification
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Posted - January 26 2013 : 9:49:04 PM
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Actually you are all wrong, the one true god is the great Flying Spaghetti Monster! Pry to Him so that he may reach out to you with His noodle like appendage! Raman
Proudly keeping Tyco Pluggers out of landfills since 2016
Edited by - Srenchin on January 26 2013 9:51:52 PM
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Posted - January 26 2013 : 10:24:06 PM
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-Gareth
"A is A"
-Aristotle
Law of Identification
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Posted - January 27 2013 : 08:52:23 AM
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| there are self help forums that deal with these subjects
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Posted - January 27 2013 : 10:06:12 AM
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Actually if any god or goddess didn't have a sence of humor we'd ALL be dead
Anyway welcome back Smokie We did miss you Sorry about your problems 
*huggies*
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Posted - January 27 2013 : 10:23:38 AM
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Well said Ben.
Geez I'm in shock.
As to the Huggies, not sure Jerry is young enough or old enough to need Nappies (Diapers)
-Gareth
"A is A"
-Aristotle
Law of Identification
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Posted - January 30 2013 : 5:49:23 PM
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Walt, i do remember saying that, and it was out of fun. i meant nothing by it i promise. that's the thing about reading words instead of hearing them. they can be taken in many different ways. i meant it out of fun, i wasn't serious at all or in any way.
me and Shanda have been talking a little bit ever sense i posted this thread. i'm not sure if the prayers have help but they certainly haven't hurt. i ask that if you attend church, tell them i'm asking for their prayers. i'm asking for you to continue praying as well. i do believe in god & so does my wife. neither of us attend church, but we are Christians. i'm not a good christian, but that is my religion. the night i posted this i texted her & told her goodnight & i love her. she messaged me back & told me she still loved me. that is the first sign of anything good. she also told me she isn't happy. i know in my soul we are meant to be together. i never believed in soul mates until she was gone. i lost my best friend in the world too. i'm sorry for telling you all my troubles, but i love this forum & you guys make it what it is. thanks for your prayers & thoughts.
jerry
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Posted - January 30 2013 : 8:27:29 PM
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Ok, Smokie... I too hope you can work things out... I'm sorry for the misunderstanding and saying anything about the comment... I hope you will accept my sincere apology... Walt
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Posted - January 30 2013 : 9:13:59 PM
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Smokie, I'm a christian, just not the holiest of all! I imagine my preacher would flip out after hearing what I done! I do hope things work out!
" Heck with counting 'em rivets, TRAINS ARE FOR FUN! Not called the Mad Scientist for nothing either!"
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Posted - February 01 2013 : 4:56:43 PM
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one text will be great, a few more & everything is back to square one. i don't know if she just doesn't know what she wants or is trying to keep from hurting my feelings. valentines day is our wedding anniversary & it is destroying me. this is without a doubt the worst problem/feelings i have ever faced. i've had family die & it didn't hurt anything like this. i'm slowly dieing inside. i don't know what to do. i've tried my damnedest to let her go but i can't get her out of my mind. i cry, then start drinking & cry more, then pull up a picture of her beautiful face put on some Whiskey Lullaby & just want to die. i'm losing my mind. please just pray for her happiness. i had my chance & blew it.
Walt, no apology necessary. i can understand why you thought that.
jerry
Edited by - smokie on February 01 2013 5:03:17 PM
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Posted - February 01 2013 : 10:08:10 PM
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If you really want her back then keep working at it. Be the man she wants you to be. And maybe stop drinking...you want her to see you as someone who is upbeat and enjoyable to be around, not a drunk who is desperate to get her back. Just try to be friends again and see where that leads. Baby steps 
Just my 2 cents...
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Posted - February 01 2013 : 10:36:12 PM
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Yes, baby steps! Just no sobby drunk stories to tell her either. Besides, alcohol in these situations doesn't help.
" Heck with counting 'em rivets, TRAINS ARE FOR FUN! Not called the Mad Scientist for nothing either!"
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Posted - February 04 2013 : 5:47:31 PM
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baby steps, i've never been know for my patients, but i need to learn it. the drinking has to stop. i've gotten hammered every night sense last Wednesday.
jerry
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Posted - February 04 2013 : 9:58:24 PM
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| Kick the booze, get your s*** together and see where life takes you. You've got a whole Internet forum of guys and their trains cheering for ya!
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Posted - February 04 2013 : 10:25:28 PM
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No sh**! Get your self sober and buy a box of junker trains and make something!
" Heck with counting 'em rivets, TRAINS ARE FOR FUN! Not called the Mad Scientist for nothing either!"
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Posted - February 06 2013 : 11:19:13 PM
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quote:baby steps, i've never been know for my patients, but i need to learn it. the drinking has to stop. i've gotten hammered every night sense last Wednesday.
Smokie, I was on the other end not too long ago. My girlfriend at the time was perfect. She was a devoted teacher, cute little number with a cute face and an amazing personality. She was supportive of me and my endeavors and even my hobbies. She also drank quite a bit and when she did a total different side of her came out. She became violent, extremely jealous and possessive. I told her how I felt about her behavior and asked her to change. She got worst and we broke up. I still think if her everyday (3 months later).
I think your wife still thinks of you and based on what you said here, you know what you need to change. Do it. Prove to her that you have are willing to change. Do it for her and for you. I would reconsider getting back with my ex if she was willing to change. You sound like a great guy and sometimes in live, we need to go for broke. I suggest that you do what it takes to get her back, that is if you want her back.
Originally posted by smokie - February 04 2013 : 5:47:31 PM
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If you are not having fun, you are not doing it right.
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